I am pleased to announce that I have influenced someone enough, to send me a very touching email. He sought out my email address, and spent time crafting an extremely coherent and well thought out message, to which as you will see, I gratefully replied. (Click the image, to get the full view)
Following this, I then got this beautiful reply:
Instead of accepting my sexual invitation to “comprehend my islam” (admit it, you’d be proud too if you’d managed to create an innuendo out of comprehending a religion), he felt it necessary to tell me he was fucking my mother. Which is odd, because at the time of receiving this email, my mother was actually watching Eastenders. The BBC was fucking my mother, out of her licence fee contribution. Although, he does end the sentence with ‘not’, which I presume meant ‘now’. The T and W are far enough away from each other on the keyboard to suggest you’d have to be one chunky fingered illiterate nob end, to hit the wrong one. Unless of course, he genuinely meant ‘not’, in which case, the entire point of this email was to tell me that he wasn’t fucking my mother. Which is a relief. I don’t receive enough emails from people telling me they aren’t fucking a member of my family. It leaves me very paranoid. I end up thinking “Why is that man not approaching me to tell me he isn’t fucking my nan? He must be fucking my nan”. So I’d like to thank the sender of this emailing triumph, for taking the time out to reassure me that he is not in fact, having sex with my mother.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed my first hate mail.
Yours sincerely,
Beaner fuck x


english probably isn’t his first language. don’t be a jerk
You’re right. I should give them benefit of the doubt, when he says he’s fucking my mother. I’m the one being the ‘jerk’ =\
haha, this post is brilliant