Today, the North Koreans announced they had sent a delegation of diplomats to Beijing. This comes a week after reports surfaced that a cargo of weapons from North Korea had been seized, on it’s way to Iran.
Meanwhile, Iran itself has announced it is ready to sit down and negotiate with World powers over it’s nuclear program.
Over here in the UK, Jack Straw announced plans to release all documents corresponding to the ridiculous release of Abdel Basset al-Megrahi from a Scottish prison for his involvement in the Lockerbie bombing; an attempt to prove the UK government had nothing to do with the release and that no trade deal with made for his release (it still seems a little coincidental that Scotland released a well known terrorist, to a Country that has the biggest oil supply on the African continent, [sarcasm] but if Jack Straw says it didn’t happen…… then who are we to say otherwise [/sarcasm])
To sum up, Newspapers have a lot of material to lead with today. They must have had a field day. So having said that, The Daily Mail website today leads with a story that the rest of the World seems to have quite ignorantly pushed aside for it’s crazy talk about North Korea, Iran, and the release of terrorists. Britney Spears and her sister Jamie Lyn Spears………..are both “toned and tanned“!!! ….. if you could do what I had to do, and take just a second away from feeling like you’ve just been raped by stupidity, that would be nice, The story continues….
“While Britney, 27, had been regularly flaunting her honed physique on stage and in bikinis in recent months, the more low-key Jamie Lynn, 18, is rarely photographed“
Well that’s a load off of my mind. Do you know why the “more low key Jamie Lynn, 18, is rarely photographed“? ……. it’s because nobody cares. Why do I care how tanned the younger sister of a pop star I have absolutely no care in the World for, is? It isn’t like I’ve been sat at home ignoring phone calls, locked in a dark corner, rocking backward and forward chanting “how tanned is Jamie Lynn Spears” over and over. I couldn’t care any less about anything in the World. I’ve never felt this uninterested by any story, ever. It’s a new feeling for me. One of complete disinterest. They say in Heaven, that everything is perfect. I guarantee the perfect feeling of disinterest, will be God handing me the Daily Mail.
There are, six photos on that Daily Mail story, quite clearly taken by a man hidden in bushes, of the kids of Britney and her sister. Is that legal? Because if I go to a park, hide in a bush, and take a photo of some kids, in all likelihood, i’m going to be arrested, after being beaten by the father of the kids, and most probably called “sick and twisted” by the Daily Mail the next day.
“An eyewitness told Us Weekly magazine: ‘They both looked to be in pretty good shape‘”
An eyewitness? As if it was a major Global event. You have eyewitnesses when planes are flown into the side of sky scrapers. You don’t have “eyewitnesses” when a woman is sat by the side of a pool, with her child.
But it isn’t just the Daily Mail that we seem to allow to get away with it. The Sun earlier this month printed a story about Kerry Katona facing questions from Social Workers. As if it’s any of our fucking business. The poor girl faces a constant mauling by the deviously perverted press, who on this occasion chose quite ironically to use the word “shame” when describing her, whilst showing a completely unrelated picture of her topless, taken by a disgusting little shameful paparazzi cock hidden out of sight, purely so the paper can make a bit of money. Which in turn, creates a generation of easily led, misinformed morons into voting the poor woman “worst celebrity mum”. I can’t imagine how horrible one would feel after a frankly despicable poll is conducted, finding you to be a shit mum, by people who don’t know you, have never met you, and yet think they know you enough to call you a shit mum, simply because their boring, pathetic, little ignorant lives revolve around what they read in magazines designed purely to manipulate this stupid generation of white collared drunks into handing over their money for a publication designed to make money for itself, not to tell any form of truth.
The truly vile “Carole Malone” goes one step further in masturbating the finances of the News of the World, without any regard for compassion or human decency, by starting another unintriguing article of utter vomit enducing bullshit, with “Like her mum Sue, Kerry will be a hopeless drug addict, she’ll be living on benefits because she’s fit for nothing except the grubbiest kind of fame and her kids will either be in care or with their dad“. Doesn’t it make you proud to be part of a species dedicated to collectively ruining the lives of as many troubled and depressed people as possible, just because it pays well? Not that Malone is all that surprising in her hatred for Katona. Perhaps if Katona were to contract a deadly disease like Jade Goody did, Malone will suddenly fall in love with her. Because in 2006, Malone referred to Jade as having “tumbleweed for brains” and “all the charm of your average slug“, this was just before an article written also in 2006, in which Malone referred to Goody as “the size of a shed“, and in 2003, referring to the birth of Jade’s son, Malone said “Ex Big Brother inmate Jade Goody has given birth to a bouncing baby boy. One can only hope that little Bobby Jack turns out to be good at sport. With a mum who thinks East Anglia is ‘abroad’ he won’t be going to Oxford” Yet, oddly, in February 2009, Malone is pictured with Jade like a mother and daughter, in an article Malone wrote, in which she seems to have some new found love for Jade. In reality, Malone is a vulture, digging her claws in when it will make her some money, regardless of the consequences of what she says, and then releasing her grip, and serenading us all with flowers and meadows and pretty soft feathers when it will make her some money.
“The truth is, I’m in awe of Jade Goody. I have been since I was in the Big Brother house with her and saw that for all her faults, her unfettered anger, her lack of education, this was a kind girl, a loyal girl, a strong girl.”
Fuck off, you devious fickle little witch.
And whilst we’re on the subject of Media irony, The Sun back in 2004 printed this story about a man who had set up a webcam under a woman’s desk in his office to get upskirt shots. Yes, the man is a pervert. No question. But it strikes me as beautifully poetic that a newspaper that constantly prints pictures of the upskirt of Lindsey Lohan getting out of a car, by a photographer quite obviously laying in the gutter waiting for the door to open to catch that magically intrusive (yet apparently perfectly legal) moment, or photos of women tennis players bending over to pick up a tennis ball, has the nerve to refer to anyone else as a “pervert“.
The amorality of the Tabloids reached it’s pinnacle for me, with it’s apparent new found sense of love for Jade Goody just before her death, and not just from Carole “I have absolutely no shame” Malone. Now obviously it wasn’t real love. It was tabloid love. The type of love that says “oooo a woman who has sold papers in the past for being a bit racist, is now dying of cancer….. we could make a fortune off of that!!” It’s the same love that her dirty excuse for a husband has for her. A greedy love. A golddigging love. I say that, because The Sun, The Mirror and The Mail spent 2008 referring to Jade Goody as much as humanly possible as “racist” (even though it was the other equally as useless “celebrity” on that version of Celebrity Big Brother, who said the most racist nonsense like “I think she should fuck off home“….. but you know, she’s not that famous, so the tabloids ignored it), or comparing her to a pig; anything they could get away with. Much like they are doing with Kerry Katona now. Suddenly, Jade contracted cancer and the tabloids loved her for it. They canonised her. But they falsely canonised her. She didn’t exert any virtues that enrich our life, Jade Goody was a product to be bought and sold, she was no longer a human being by the time she died.
The tabloids are actually quite the logical manifestation of the concept of consumerism and all the shit it brings with it. Nothing is sacred. There is no morality. Every so often, they try to appear moral in their quest to inform us, but they fail miserably. They represent modern life perfectly. They are simply amoral products that certainly do have a place in an amoral marketplace. It would amaze me if humanity, 500 years down the line, looks back at our time with anything but a sense of great antipathy toward a past maligned with this unforgiving, self-driven consumer based World of greed and vanity and nothing much else. And we all buy into it.
Who cares about North Korea’s nuclear ambitions, when Britney Spears is looking a bit tanned.