The Way of the Master is a US Christian TV show, in which two curiously insane yet perfect representations of Christian America, presenters, attempt to tell people why belief in a God is logical, rather than a ludicrous puerile fantasy about a magical sky man and his immortal zombie son.
The show is so popular with easily manipulated people, that the viewers of the Christian Broadcasting Network have voted it the People’s Choice show of the year in 2004, 2005 and 2006. The presenters say that the large amount of viewers, and the awards bestowed upon the show are significant because:
In it, we teach Christians how to talk to the lost about the Savior, so the fact that viewers are responding to it so favorably is thrilling. We truly thank God for allowing us to make this program.
That’s right. Those of us that are ‘lost’ should thank the show for reminding us, just how excruciatingly dangerous these fundamentalists really are. Like every other Christian, they offer no evidence for their claim that I’m doomed unless I accept Jesus as my
homoerotic secret boyfriend. saviour. They offer no historical evidence for what they believe in. And they spend a lot of time trying to prove Atheism is a logical failure, and that those of us who do not succumb to their bullshit are simply ‘lost’.
But it’s okay, because Atheists have God on their side. See, Atheism is a belief that a higher being doesn’t exist. Since God is all knowing, he doesn’t need belief. He knows. And since there is no higher being than God, it stand to reason that God cannot possibly believe in a higher being, and so God is Atheist. Not only that, but because God sees and knows everything, including the past, present and future, without any limits on his knowledge, he knows I am not going to believe in him, he knew it before I was born, and so I cannot possibly be punished for something I had no control over. So, I can now enjoy my life without feeling guilty that a bearded sky man and his 2000 year old son are watching over me with disapproval. See how logic is easily manipulated? No? Okay, maybe you need further evidence of bad logic. Here is a clip from The Way of the Master in which the presenters attempt to prove the existence of a God, using a banana.
So, God made a Banana perfect for humanity, yet he put George Bush in the White House. This magic sky man has his priorities mixed up.
Curiously, a Banana is also a great sex toy for homosexuals. And from the way it fits in that guys hand and the smile on the other guys face; they know it.
Far be it from me to suggest that these guys don’t have the first clue about what it is they’re trying to prove, but I’d have to question the motives of a God who can make a piece of fruit perfect for humans, yet still insists on giving children to abusive parents. Seems a little unbalanced. The Banana itself is of course, not created by God for the purpose of being perfect for human consumption. If he did, i’d like to know why he fucked up so badly with the Pineapple. Biologist Robert Alison, a man who isn’t mad, and knows exactly what he’s talking about, because he has pesky evidence and years of study to back it up, says:
When humankind first encountered this fruit thousands of years ago we were probably not impressed by the almost inedible giant wild bananas. Historic mutations, rare and accidental, produced seedless bananas through chromosome triplication. Ancient humans focused on these seedless, pollen-less mutants to generate progressively more edible crops. Eventually, edible banana flesh retained only a few vague traces of the viable seeds once carried in the ancestral wild stock.
Ancient plant breeders grew edible bananas by grafting sterile mutants onto wild stems. This process was repeated for thousands of years to produce the emasculated, sterile — and defenceless — plantation banana that currently feeds millions of people globally.
In the tropics, you can still find other, less desirable banana varieties, mainly grown as a starchy food staple rather than a sweet treat. But these tropical bananas aren’t much like their commercial cousins in North American supermarkets. They taste bland. Their texture is often fibrous and mealy. North American consumers would probably find them quite unpalatable compared to the Cavendish, which is sweeter and smoother-textured.
I think I will choose believe the biologist on this one.
The Way of the
fucking mental Masters’ website claims that:
150,000 people die every day…. most without the Saviour
Grotesque piece of manipulation there, but nevertheless the suggestion here is that most people will go to Hell, because they haven’t converted to this particular cult, out of the thousands of available cults in time to be saved from eternal flames. Which suggests to me, that Hell is the place where all the cool, friendly, logical and rational people are currently dwelling. If Heaven is full of the viewers who voted The Way of the Master as TV show of the year three years running, i’m quite happy to bypass Heaven entirely.
The worrying thing is, America is run by Christian maniacs who aren’t too keen on logic, reason, and any form of intelligent thought. What a unnerving place the World is.