The Keys and Gray Affair

There have been a lot of people on my facebook wall especially who, not content with insisting every Christmas that Muslims are trying to destroy their holiday cheer, also have an issue with the recent dismissal of Andy Grey and Richard Keys from Sky Sports for making quite obviously sexist remarks. “It’s political correctness gone mad” they say. Apparently we must throw our weight of support behind two fat, sweaty middle aged Neanderthals, because it’d be political correctness gone mad if we didn’t.

It seems that when someone mentions “political correctness gone mad” in regard to racism or sexism or homophobia, the story is quite different. It usually means that the most unintelligent idiots, making shockingly crude, and disrespectful, needless statements have been finally brought up on their ignorance. I cannot see why this interpretation of “political correctness” is a bad thing? In fact, I fully support it.

Here’s the transcript of what they said, during the Liverpool vs Wolves game in which Sian Massey was assistant referee:

[Andy Gray]
Yeah I know. Can you believe that? A Female linesman. That’s exactly why I was saying; women don’t know the offside rule. Why do we…

[Richard Keys]
Of course they don’t.


[Richard Keys]
I can guarantee you there will be a big one today. Kenny. Will go potty.

[Andy Gray]

[Richard Keys]
This is not the first time, is it? Didn’t we have one before?

[Andy Gray]

[Richard Keys]
Wendy Toms?

[Andy Gray]
Wendy Toms or someone like that yeah.

[Richard Keys]

[Richard Keys]
The game’s gone mad

[Richard Keys]
Did you hear charming Karren Brady this morning complaining about sexism? Yep. Do me a favour love.

Pushing aside the apparent inability of Keys to recognise the irony in complaining that a woman was talking about sexism in football, just before saying “do me a favour, love”, the obvious thing to note here, is that were not saying any of this in a humorous manner. They genuinely believe that a woman couldn’t possibly understand that most challenging of human mysteries; where a person is stood when a round thing is kicked. How could she know? She’s just a woman. Presumably Keys and Gray think Massey just thinks about shoes and kittens and pretty flowers, and couldn’t make room in her tiny mind to understand the complexity of a game in which twenty two men run around for an hour and a half. It is far too much. Sure, women can be politicians and lecturers and doctors. But understanding what happens when a striker is in front of the defended as the ball is kicked? Surely they’d just break down in tears and need a real man like Andy Gray to take her in his manly arms and protect her from the harsh realities of what is obviously a man’s World.

“The game’s gone mad”.
Little bit of an exaggeration? The game is no different than ever before. Other than a few men (probably gay, and feminine, and girly) rolling around crying whenever they get close to being tackled, it’s very much the same non-mad game as it’s always been. In fact, it is far less insane now than in the 1980s, when police-swarmed stadiums were filled with crazed firms of hooligans. One female assistant referee has not created a hole in the fabric of space time, sucking everything including light itself. All it has done, has exposed a couple of fat tossers who apparently haven’t managed to leave the 1950s.

Sian Massey must have had to put up with sexist idiots her entire career. The beautiful game is still dogmatically male orientated and has an air of insecure masculinity about it. She refereed the Women’s FA Cup Final in 2010. That is quite a huge achievement. She officiated at the FIFA 2007 Female World Cup and at UEFA Women’s Euro 2009. She has gone from Women’s Football Assistant Referee in 2009, to assistant referee in the male dominated arena of Premiership Football in 2010. She made an excellent decision in the Liverpool v Wolves game, in which none of us watching on TV managed to spot. She is more than qualified. Let’s not forget that it was Graham Poll, an English male referee who booked a player three times during Croatia’s match with Australia at the 2006 World Cup. But that must all just be down to luck. How could she possibly understand the offside rule.

Keys and Gray obviously believe no woman is as intellectual as they are, when it comes to football. They know it all. Women know nothing. That’s the philosophy. This must extend also to the first female to referee a Football League match, Amy Rayner. She has an economics degree, and is a full time top rated accountant. Luton lost the game 3-2 to QPR. Instead of accepting that his team were just not good enough on the day, and maybe even questioning his own failings as a manager, having lost his previous club, Hartlepool a staggering 16 point lead in his first few games in charge and only just managing to secure promotion that was absolutely guaranteed when he took over (he was subsequently sacked for a massive run of incompetence from Hartlepool) Luton manager Mike Newell chose instead to blame the fact that the referee was a woman, stating:

“She shouldn’t be here. I know that sounds sexist but I am sexist. This is not park football, so what are women doing here?”

Housewife, and former girlfriend of Jamie Redknapp, Louise Glass was on the receiving end of one of Keys’ little outbursts not so long ago. Keys asked Redknapp, in the commentary box, when he thought the cameras were off:

“Did you smash it? Mind you, that’s a stupid question, if you were anywhere near it, you definitely smashed it. You’d have gone round there any night of the week and found ­Redknapp hanging out the back of it.”

What a putrid old idiot Keys is.
Will I miss them? No.
Do I have sympathy for them? No.

Plus, this means that Gray wont be commentating on any more Fifa games on my Xbox. This pleases me beyond anything else.


3 Responses to The Keys and Gray Affair

  1. dcwreck says:

    Perhaps you’ve broken through a glass ceiling in Britain. In the US of course there are no female officials in pro baseball, football or basketball and given the bias that still exists among female sports journalists, I doubt that there ever will be.

  2. Daley James Francis says:

    Give idiots enough money and stroke their ego’s for long enough and they think they can get away with anything. Andy Gray was (feels nice to say ‘was’ instead of ‘is’) one of the most-overrated and awful people on TV. He talked in cliches and contributed nothing. Keys isn’t even worth mentioning. The worst thing about it is that Sian Massey will never be allowed to officiate again without a ridiculous amount of media coverage and it’ll probably end her career at a high level. Sad really.

  3. I once heard Andy Gray say:
    “The only way Liverpool can win this now, is if they score more goals.”
    Words of a genius.

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